My years are not advancing as fast as you might think, but perhaps there are some changes.

Since my late twenties, I'd suppose, I've had a little ritual surrounding this particular point on the calendar. I figure I can't be the only one.

I always try to make sure, on this first day of the month, that there's tasty food in the house, cash in the wallet, beer in the fridge, etc. before I go to bed. I run around and check things before I turn in, as if I were carefully leaving milk and cookies for Santa Claus.

I just want the day to be prepared, in case I wake up that next morning, Groundhog Day morning, over and over again. I figure it'll save me a ton of time, if it's anything like the movie.

Usually I tell myself that one of these years, I'll arrange to be within walking distance of Andie McDowell when I wake up on this date, which would also save me a ton of time if I wind up looping that day. The first thing I figured out about that movie was, once you figured out that you were getting a free reset every time you woke up, hell yeah you'd be taking chances on her. Why not be prepared? Be nearby?

This year, though, is the first one where I realized that there are probably nobler goals than trying to get the girl. Who wouldn't love to spend this day working on oneself, becoming better? To be able to take what time it took each day, over and over again, to work towards the self one sees as one's future self - snapping into February 3rd with goals met, questions answered, dreams realized? Hell, if I did it anywhere near to correctly, Ms. McDowell would be stumbling over herself to stumble over me before 7 PM, that last time through the day. And it wouldn't even have to be the thing I felt best about.

Then I thought to myself - "wow, the way I'm feeling, it's like my attitudes are evolving as I repeat these same old things. I think the way I feel about Andie McDowell now puts me a right around eighty percent of the way through the movie."

I'm kinda scared to go to bed, as I have about six different levels of meta all tangled now.

I don't know if I'm before or after the part where I have to drive the train tracks tomorrow.