I didn't mind listening to her, not at all. So far as I was concerned, she could come around anytime, and just often enough, she would do just that.

Part of it was what she had to say, part of it was how she said it... but I'd have to acknowledge that how she looked saying it factored in as well. Sometimes she'd give that wry smile, and it was clear that she was all out there for someone who understood... and I really felt that I did.

Just from having her around, I felt I learned a lot about what I wanted from a woman, what worked for me. I always thought that, yeah, it would be complicated, but fuck, what isn't complicated, and one of these days, hey, it might be one of those nights.

I resolved that I'd be there for her when our time came. I resolved it, well, quite firmly - with that kind of foolish resolution you know you'll never have to meet, but for which you daydream elaborate plans.

Time kept passing, though, and when I thought about her, about her ghosts, I realized I didn't know if I'd ever see her again. It just seemed unlikely I'd ever sit on the bed's corner, smoking, listening to her in that way that requires watching her mouth. I got to the point, really, where I never thought about her... until today.

Today I heard that yesterday, she got married. Yeah, that guy she's been hanging around with. It all came back to me then, and I just can't shake wondering what it was we could have had, what it was that I missed.

Damn you, Lisa Loeb.

Damn you, you should have called.

It would have been spectacular.