She'd only been joking, but I was serious, and I had the bag of filthiness out of her reach before she realized.

"I didn't really mean for you to do that, Frank, I'm parked right by the dumpster."

"No no, I know that. I'm walking you out."

"Oh? Oh. OK."

She thanked me most politely for hauling her trash as the door closed, and I could do nothing but laugh and speak irrelevantly for a few seconds. Once I was sure only we would hear, though, I broached the subject that had me out in the cold again.

"Hey, remember the other night when he signed us all up to go out for beers this week? You know what's wrong with doing that on Thursday, right?"

"No, what?" Her grey eyes opened to me, concerned; not the slightest spark of irony shone within.

I couldn't even roll my eyes at her for that, having missed it once myself - at least she agreed there was a problem once I had explained. I checked out of the conversation when I was sure she'd caught on, as I already knew how it would go from there. Yes, I've already talked with him about it; certainly, we all should reschedule; ha ha, it is kinda funny we missed that. The discussion tried to gather momentum, but I plead general chilliness, and fled back inside.

I had jumped at the chance to tell her quietly I was taking a tricky social worry off her mind. It left me feeling awkwardly out of position to find she hadn't yet realized she'd had worries. It was a little bit grating, to be honest; I really thought she'd be better at the nuances than that, at least good enough to appreciate how I'd handled them on her behalf. Had I realized she was just plain missing it, I'd have simply stood aside and let the disaster happen without me.

I'd thought I was being a good guy; turns out I was just wasting time.

It's the sort of thing that makes a boy want to change his ways. Eschew the protection, embrace the predation.

I dunno. I'm sure that there also are days when the lions and tigers wonder why they bother.